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I <3 George Bush Jr, But I don't <3 Hell
Apr. 1st, 2005 10:13 amWhen I die, I'm going to Hell. I've known this since I discovered, aged 13, that boys were more interesting than girls. I cried many nights in terror and disbelief, confused about why I had been created by God only to be then punished. I turned to books for enlightment but all the religious scriptures said that God was adamant on this point: cocksucking and fudgepacking sent you to Hell, missionary position with pussies opened the doors to Heaven.
Life since then has been a preparation for this inevitable downward journey: what should I wear when I arrive in Hell? Will I have roomates or a room of my own? Do I have to comply with Hell's designs and paint my walls red or can I choose magnolia? And, most important of all, will there be fucktards playing harps all day long? (the brochures say no, but you never know when it comes to Hell.)
I've also begun to ponder on who I might find in Hell. My happiness there will depend on the company I keep when Satan is not busy busting my ass with his 20-inch scabby penis. Rumours abound that you can buy a plot of land in Hell, much like those good folks who have been purchasing real estate in Heaven. I've searched the internet for a list of where everyone is building their condos but I can't find any useful information. Looks like the internet, when you really want to do evil with it, is pretty useless (unless you have a credit card - which I don't.)
Deep down, I fear I'm going to be lonely in Hell. Although my boyfriend has been committing sodomy for the past seven years, he's actually straight. Everyone comments on his angelic face and of how I must be lucky to have him. Dating a straight guy is really useful because people always think we are only good friends, even when we book a queen-size bed in some hotel. The receptionists must think we roast girls there at night then watch football games & drink Budweiser. When I look at my boyfriend's face, I feel like I'm saying goodbye: in death, he'll be jumping around in beautiful clouds while I live in some dark cave with hairy men who like to walk around barechested.
Finally, I'd just like to say that I'm still unsure about whether George Bush Jr is evil or not. I've been very lax about politics ever since I discovered Soho and gay porn, so it would be nice if someone could bring me up to date with all the good and bad he has done in the world. There is one thing I do know: he was one HOT GUY when he was young!
Emo Bush - check out the second hand polo shirt and the chest hair
Preppy Bush - you'd be lucky to run into him during a fraternity hazing
Butch Bush - everyone loves a man in uniform. Your life, and ass, are safe in his hands
Does anyone have more pictures of Bush Jr? I did a google but found only these. Got to keep myself occupied while that London Underground Tube (Bakerloo line) doesn't arrive to take me to Lucifer's domain.
Life since then has been a preparation for this inevitable downward journey: what should I wear when I arrive in Hell? Will I have roomates or a room of my own? Do I have to comply with Hell's designs and paint my walls red or can I choose magnolia? And, most important of all, will there be fucktards playing harps all day long? (the brochures say no, but you never know when it comes to Hell.)
I've also begun to ponder on who I might find in Hell. My happiness there will depend on the company I keep when Satan is not busy busting my ass with his 20-inch scabby penis. Rumours abound that you can buy a plot of land in Hell, much like those good folks who have been purchasing real estate in Heaven. I've searched the internet for a list of where everyone is building their condos but I can't find any useful information. Looks like the internet, when you really want to do evil with it, is pretty useless (unless you have a credit card - which I don't.)
Deep down, I fear I'm going to be lonely in Hell. Although my boyfriend has been committing sodomy for the past seven years, he's actually straight. Everyone comments on his angelic face and of how I must be lucky to have him. Dating a straight guy is really useful because people always think we are only good friends, even when we book a queen-size bed in some hotel. The receptionists must think we roast girls there at night then watch football games & drink Budweiser. When I look at my boyfriend's face, I feel like I'm saying goodbye: in death, he'll be jumping around in beautiful clouds while I live in some dark cave with hairy men who like to walk around barechested.
Finally, I'd just like to say that I'm still unsure about whether George Bush Jr is evil or not. I've been very lax about politics ever since I discovered Soho and gay porn, so it would be nice if someone could bring me up to date with all the good and bad he has done in the world. There is one thing I do know: he was one HOT GUY when he was young!
Emo Bush - check out the second hand polo shirt and the chest hair
Preppy Bush - you'd be lucky to run into him during a fraternity hazing
Butch Bush - everyone loves a man in uniform. Your life, and ass, are safe in his hands
Does anyone have more pictures of Bush Jr? I did a google but found only these. Got to keep myself occupied while that London Underground Tube (Bakerloo line) doesn't arrive to take me to Lucifer's domain.
