The Nation's Bad Education

What is worse: to be caught reading The Da Vinci Code on public transport, or one of Dan Brown's other novels? Because to read The Da Vinci Code tells the world that you are a sheep, a lemming with no taste; but to read another Dan Brown novel means that you actually liked The Da Vinci Code.

Other books you should not be caught dead reading on public transport:

• Harry Potter novels (for anyone over 14). Yes, they are pleasurable to read, but reading one in public is like going to work in your Halloween costume. There's a time and place (i.e. your home) for these if you are an adult.
  
• The Dummy's Guide to...
  
• How to Make Friends and Influence People
  
• Chick lit novels (these usually have pink or baby blue covers, with cartoonesque drawings.)
  
• Jehovah Witness pamphlets
  
• Celebrity magazines and trashy tabloids (although it's OK to read The Weekly World News.)
  
• Autobiographies by ex-Big Brother contestants
  

Any other reading material I should add to this list?