The Fall and Rise of Big Voice

Last night, teqkiller and I saw Diana Vickers star in The Rise and Fall of Little Voice in the West End. We were disappointed that no slebs showed up - not even this year's current X Factor contestants - but I did spot a footballer right in the front with his wag.

This kitchen sink drama tells the story of a young girl who lives in a godforsaken backwater with her alcoholic mother until one day an unscrupulous showbiz empresario discovers she has a beautiful singing voice and decides to milk her for all it's worth. When Diana first opens her mouth, you'd be forgiven for thinking she's lip synching - such is the beauty of her voice. It only gets better from there onwards, especially when she hits the piers' nightclubs and hops from one big band classic to the next. She can really sing, and act too! (Yes, I was as shocked as you.) Probably the person who should have won the X Factor last year, but oh well.

Afterwards, walking home down Bethnal Green Road, I spotted a drunk in the middle of the road, hailing cars, kicking buses and nearly toppling in front of incoming traffic. I followed him for some minutes, but when he failed to move to the sidewalk I picked up my mobile and dialled 999 for the first time in my life. The police showed up while I was still on the phone and asked the bloke if he was trying to walk home. He had a startled look on his face - he had tried, at first, to get into the police car's passenger side when they'd stopped and was having trouble putting one word in front of the other for the coppers.

Today, I dream of being rich and free.