Reasons to Hate Pigeons, Part 43.982

[commonpeople1]

I am returning to my tower block after the gym - groceries in my backpack and one plastic bag - when a guy comes out of the reception door. He sees me, does a double-take at the door swinging shut, then rushes to grab it for me. I am halfway up the concrete steps that lead to the entrance. My brain hits a glitch because suddenly I'm trying to sprint towards the door, I'm tripping, I'm hitting the edge of the stairs with my right knee (my right hand going straight into a puddle of pigeon shit), my face bouncing on the toilet paper rolls (lucky landing) that also hit the ground, my glasses going crooked on my face.

The guy asks if I'm OK, but doesn't let go of the door. I pick myself up and giggle nervously. I tell him I'm OK. I've got pigeon shit on my hands and on my right knee. He holds the door open for me, his eyes never leaving my hands. I make more noise about how OK I am. My knee hurts like a bitch.

Clothes are now in the washing machine, and I've had a much enjoyed shower. Send kisses to my knee's bubu.

I'm so glad that wasn't iejw. I'd have died of embarrassment.

Comments

[redcountess]

*kisses the booboo better*

[amberholic.livejournal.com]

Awww... if it hadn't really happened, it would almost be funny. Lucky about the toilet paper... not so lucky about the pigeon shit.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

It was funny, but godammit it hurt. So glad the guy wasn't some hot neighbour who will now snigger at me everytime he sees me. :-)

[pixxers.livejournal.com]

I bet you made that guy's day.

*smooches for the knee*

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he's got an anecdote to amuse his friends today. He did look concerned though (and a tad grossed out.)

[inbetween-girl.livejournal.com]

I'm not kissing your knee, it has pigeon shit on it.

Hope it feels better soon, though. xx

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

pigeon shit and blood! (well, not anymore)

[amberholic.livejournal.com]

Yikes! I hope you don't get ill...

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

The blood was protected by the jeans. I'll be OK. ;-)

[violentlyhappy.livejournal.com]

*kisses better*

[aeonflux.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, what a rough return from the gym! If it's any consolation, I'm forever bumping into things or tripping over things...it just usually doesn't end with pigeon poo.

On a happier note, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions about swimming?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Ask away! :-)

[aeonflux.livejournal.com]

About three weeks ago I started swimming. I've always been a water-baby ever since I was little, but now I'm doing laps. When I started I could only manage thirteen, but now I'm up to thirty-one, so I'm doing well. But I'm trying to plan ahead so I can avoid any potential plateaus, plus I'm confronted by all this equipment (hand paddles, float buoys, etc.) and I'm just not sure what's necessary and what's superfluous.

My boyfriend Antonio was a lifeguard for ten years and also a swim instructor for most of that, but he's never really incorporated a swim regime as exercise, so while he can help me improve my technique and give suggestions, he just doesn't have the daily practical experience.

I was talking to my mom about it and she said, "You should ask Ollie!" And I realized she was right. So, I wanted to ask you what your swimming routine is like and how you switch it up and how you got started and what results you've experienced and, you know, just everything. Do you use any of the extra equipment and does it do you any good? Do you work on endurance or speed, or both?

The swimming has been a major boon for me, since it's not dull like other, more homogenous workouts, switching strokes really keeps it interesting, so I think I can keep with it. I just don't really know many other swimmers, so I want to pick your brain. Thanks ;-).

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Wow! Ok... i think Antonio is probably more knowledgeable than me! (since he's a swim instructor).

I didn't start swimming until I was 25. I had a mild scoliosis (because of a bad futon and a Nazi yoga teacher). The doctor recommended I learn to swim alternating breaths (that way where you draw air from both sides) and take stretching classes. I joined a gym in Brasil which specialised in swimming - everyone got their own lane and an instructor gave us exercises and training tips. I started from the bottow, swimming with little kids (holding boards, etc) until I had a bare minimum knowledge. I then graduated to the big pools, where instructors gave me exercises with boards, or without, starting with front crawl, chest and back stroke. I swam about two-three times a week, and the sessions lasted about 45 minutes. At first, I averaged 1000 metres, but this soon went up to 1400-1500 (one lap was 100 metres, if I'm not mistaken, since it was a semi-olympic pool).

I was just getting into butterfly when I moved to England (this was in 2001.) Since then, my swimming has been very sporadic. I stopped after September because of a ear infection (which I fear will now mean swimmer's ears for me for the rest of my life, so I now unfortunately need ear plugs).

Basically, I love swimming for the same reasons as you: the training can be varied and breaks the monotony of a workout. It's a great way to get fit - when I was training back in 2001, I became very toned and it was the first time in my life when I could see a six pack! Plus, I love the low impact on the body.

What kind of pool do you train in? Do you share the lanes, or do you have one for yourself? Is there someone to give you exercises, or do you come up with your own training?

[aeonflux.livejournal.com]

I'm really lucky in that I've been in and out of the pool my whole life. I had swim lessons growing up and a pool in my backyard.

I've been going to the new pool facility my university just opened. There are two areas for swimming laps--one is in the recreation pool, in between what is called "water basketball" and the free swimming/floating/playing/splashing area are about four lanes. I prefer the other area, they have an Olympic-sized pool that they've divided in half width-wise with some sort of removable wall thing. One one side is the diving/water polo pool and on the other is a row of about ten or so 25-yard lanes. I prefer that side because it has backstroke flags that keep me from smashing my head on the side, and also because I just happen to like deeper water, it's more interesting to look at while I swim.

If I get there at the right time, I usually have a lane to myself, which is good because my backstroke tends to take me all over the lane. Every once in a while my preferred lanes will be closed so I'll head over to the rec pool which is shallower and warmer, and since there are only four lanes, it's more likely I'll have to share.

There's no instructor or anything, so mainly I've just been coming up with my own workouts with some advice from Antonio. Right now I warm up with a length of each stroke (crawl, side stroke on both sides, breast, and back crawl), then I do five lengths of each stroke, then a lap of each isolating first the legs then arms with kickboards and pull buoys and then I cool down the same way I warm up. I just finished my third week back in the pool and I'm up to about 1,550 yards (1,417 meters). My next goal is to do speed drills on lengths two and four in the first part of my work-out.

I'm sorry to hear about the swimmer's ear. I anticipated that (my sister developed a series of nasty ear infections when she was a toddler, so I'm paranoid) and bought some drops that I put in my ears after I get out. I wonder if that would help? Do you have any good pointers about stuff you've learned in the course of your swim training?

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, what are the name of those drops? I'll see if I can find it here. I hate wearing earplugs.

I'm afraid I don't really have any pointers - apart, I suppose, from the usual (stretch beforehand). If you get cramps on your calves, try eating more bananas for the potassium... can't think of anything else! :-)

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you guys had fun! My brasilian friend was there, and I asked him to look out for you. He said the crowd was really young, so he only stayed for half an hour then went home. Did you have a good time? What did you think of the new venue? I heard there's a trance room now?!?!

[naturalbornkaos.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm sorry to say I did laugh out loud at that, but I felt bad for you. It was just the idea that you were so desperate to be polite and sprint towards the door that you came a cropper. It's quite sweet really.

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

That's OK, Kevin laughed too.

Kick them when they fall down, kick them when they fall down,
Why must you, kick them when they fall down...

[dilvsy.livejournal.com]

o0h no! That is shitty! (literally)

*hug*

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Hug my bubu?

[dilvsy.livejournal.com]

*hug*

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Kiss my bubu?

[desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com]

besos al booboo de tu rodilla!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

My knee feels as good as gold today. I think all the kisses worked!

[desayuno-ingles.livejournal.com]

Yay! *jumps for joy*

[iejw.livejournal.com]

Ha ha ha ha!

Eeeew! Those steps are utterly gross! I hope you scrubbed yourself thoroughly!

And I promise I’d only have started laughing once I was sure you weren’t broken. And if you were broken, then I’d only start laughing once I was sure it wasn’t life threatening…

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

Scrubbed and bleached thoroughly. I hate those steps... I hate the fucking pigeons that live off this tower block!

[iejw.livejournal.com]

Do they roost on the ledges outside your bedrooms?! They make such a racket, but the cats absolutely love it.. They sit and stare at the outside walls for hours waiting for scratching noises…

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

When we first moved here, they lived on our balcony. They had a nest, eggs, and shit everywhere (the previous guys had cut down the net then never bothered to go outside.) We had to get rid of the pigeons first, put the net up, then scrub the floor a thousand times until all the grime was gone. I see from the ground floor that a few apartments don't have their nets, so I imagine the pigeons are living there.

[rag-and-bone.livejournal.com]

oh no! i am glad you think it's a funny story to tell. i would probably be sobbing and lamenting my clumsy fate!

[commonpeople.livejournal.com]

I was mock sobbing when I got home, hoping to get a free body massage from Kevin.

It didn't work.

[rag-and-bone.livejournal.com]

the gall!